查看完整版本: 再来个英语笑话，版主翻译哈

再来个英语笑话，版主翻译哈

A Cowboy's Guide to Life:

** Don't squat with your spurs on.

** Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.

** Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

** The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.

** If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

** If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.

** It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

** The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.

** Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.

** If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

** Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

** Always drink upstream from the herd.

** Generally, you ain't learnin' nothing when your mouth's a-jawin'.

** Tellin' a man to git lost and makin' him do it are two entirely different propositions.

** If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya.

** Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

** When you give a personal lesson in meanness to a critter or to a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.

** When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

** Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.

** Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's sure crucial to know what it was.

** The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket.

** Never miss a good chance to shut up.
The Straight Dope On Food, Health, & Exercise:

** Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

** Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop.

** Q: Is beer or wine bad for me? A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.

** Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

** Q: At the gym, a guy asked me to "spot" for him while he did the benchpress. What did he mean? A: "Spotting"for someone means you stand over him while he blows air up your shorts. It's an accepted practice at health clubs; though if you find that it becomes the ONLY reason why you're going in, you probably ought to reevaluate your exercise program.

** Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain - Good.

** Q: If I stop smoking, will I live longer? A: Nope. Smoking is a sign of individual expression and peace of mind. If you stop, you'll probably stress yourself to death in record time.

** Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. Infact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

** Q: What's the secret to healthy eating? A: Thicker gravy.

** Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

上次看了ingaeasygo 颇具特色的翻译，这次还想回味阿。。。。。。

明天一定翻译，我们宿舍晚上11：30熄灯~~~，见谅.

理解~~~~~~理解~~~~~~

请明天继续关注此帖，关注卡卡网络 [s:186]

老大换头拉

[quote]引用第5楼womeng178于2007-10-11 23:27发表的 :
老大换头拉[/quote]

我不是总版主，只是出于私人感情注册了与他相仿的用户名。[s:193]

[s:193][s:193][s:193]

kawapu007夜里溜狗？

要文静，平时不露出牙齿

现在明白英语的重要性了 [s:192]

只翻译上面的那个牛仔人生指南的，下面那个啥饮食营养减肥啥的不管，这根本不是笑话~~~ [s:217]

有几则看起来有点困难啊